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you can do anything but you cannot do everything

Photo credit: Wendy Yalom

When I was a little girl, one of my favorite phrases was “me do it.”

When getting in an elevator, I wanted to push the button for our floor.
When making pancakes for breakfast, I wanted to crack the eggs and measure out the flour.
When cleaning the house, I wanted to push the vacuum – even when it was too big for my little body.

This may seem like typical toddler behavior, but it sticks out in my mind because, as I grew older, me and my family would use this phrase to bring greater meaning and context to my desire to be a strong, independent woman. One who had the ability to get sh*t done and didn’t need any help.

That “me do it” mentality served me well.

I performed well in school, figured out time management at an early age, had several jobs before the age of 18, have written extensive business plans and financial models in business school, went from earning $30k to $100k in 3 years, and even figured out how to poach an egg {which takes some serious practice, I tell ya}.

I felt like I cracked the code on being a modern, independent woman. One who didn’t let anything get in her way.

Except, this ability to get sh*t done and not needing any help eventually slams you into a wall.

Because, despite how smart and capable you are, you’re still a human.A person in a body that needs sleep, nourishment, down time, and play to functional and thriving.

Realizing this limitation can be super frustrating for an ambitious woman with big dreams and a hunger for more.

I find that many women come to this realization when they start businesses or have a baby (or both!) – this feeling of not being able to do everything, and inwardly shaming themselves for not being superwoman. I felt that way when I was working in my corporate marketing job – consistently getting frustrated with myself for feeling exhausted, sick, and overwhelmed with everything that was on my plate.

And now that I am running a growing business that I care deeply about, those feelings and frustrations were starting to come up for me once more.

I have been a one-woman show (with help from amazing friends every once in a while) for nearly 3 years, and the “me do it” little girl inside of me took pride in being able to steer the ship on her own. But late last year, it became clear to me that it was simply no longer possible for me to do it all without sacrificing my well-being, which wasn’t making much sense since that wouldn’t be me walking my talk of living a present, grounded life.

I believe very much in the quote from Gandhi to “Be the change you wish to see in the world.”

So a few weeks ago, I added a new member to Team Dabblist!

Her name is Jess, she lives in Vermont (we work together virtually), and she is amazingly supportive in helping me grow The Dabblist into what I envision it to be. Her assistance helps free up my time so I can dabble more and be of service to the women who work with me.

I have also delegated in other areas of my life – from house cleaning to booking hair and car appointments to farm box and meal delivery. And the best part about embracing outsourcing in your life is it isn’t necessarily as expensive as you might imagine it to be. Plus the time and energy you get back makes for a happier, healthier, more productive you. A Cup of Jo just posted a list of the great companies that are making life easier for all of us, and more of them pop up everyday!

What about you?

Are you finding yourself frustrated that you can’t do it all? Is it hard for you to ask for help? Have you recently gotten help and has it totally blown your mind like it did for me?



herbal jello shots

I don’t know about you, but making packaged jello was one of the coolest things when I was a kid.

It felt like magic – mixing the powder into hot water and watching it turn into a jiggly, yummy treat in a matter of hours in the refrigerator.

But since learning about the nasty processed ingredients in those packages, I’ve been missing out on the jello fun as an adult. But all is not lost, because I’ve rediscovered the healing benefits (and fun magic) of using naturally occurring grass-fed gelatin. Gelatin is an amazing ingredient. It helps to rebuild cells all throughout your body – from your gut to your liver to your hair, skin, and nails. Not to mention it’s great for healing poor digestion and hormone imbalances. You can read more about the benefits of grass-fed gelatin here.

And since it’s the season for coughs and sniffles, giving your body access to immune-building nutrients and healing herbs is especially important this time of year.

Enter: Herbal Jello Shots

Taking the fun and health benefits of gelatin and combining it with delicious fruit and vegetable juices plus healing herbs.

I used fresh, unsweetened apple juice combined with cinnamon and fresh ginger, but here are some other possible combinations you can try:

Apple + Carrot Juice with Fresh Ginger

Apple Juice with Fresh Mint

Pomegranate Juice with Fresh Lemon Balm

Orange Juice with Fresh Ginger

Orange + Carrot Juice with Echinacea 

*If you don’t have fresh herbs, you could also brew some tea with the herbs in it (like echinacea, chamomile, or peppermint tea)

Herbal Jello Shots

Heat 3 cups of fruit juice over medium heat and add in your herbs. Simmer for 10 mins, then take off heat. Add the gelatin to the cold fruit juice and stir until dissolved. Then add in the heated juice, mix well, and pour glass pan. Refrigerate for 3-4 hours, until firm. To serve, cut into 1 inch cubes.

I keep a dish of jello shots in my fridge to snack on throughout the week. It feels like a total treat every time I pop one in my mouth, like an after school snack!

Herbal Jello Shots

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conquering social media addiction

One {of my many} passions is the study and pursuit of productivity.

Not productivity in the sense of doing more in less time just so you can fill your precious waking hours with more things. That is the old paradigm of success and I no longer subscribe to it. I’m talking about deep focus. When you can complete what’s most important so you can fill your hours with other vital components to your life – like naps, dinner parties, dates, massages, and dabbling.

Recently, I have been thinking about social media addiction – particularly Facebook. So many of us waste hundreds, if not thousands of hours a year scrolling through our newsfeeds distracting ourselves from the present moment.

I’m guessing that studies on technology and social media addiction are currently being conducted in universities around the world, and I’ll be interested in seeing their results in the coming years. But, even without official medical diagnosis {yet}, the lure of Facebook can border on unhealthy. I have found that Facebook can have the same emotional triggers that drinking, drugs and food can – a need to numb out.

A recent study reported that the social network’s addictive qualities are linked to low self-esteem and poor body image, particularly in women. So the combination of a need to numb with feelings of comparison against other people’s highlight reel {because, let’s be serious, what we put on Facebook is not 100% real life} creates a confusing, sad spiral that we just can’t get out of sometimes.

When I was bored or stressed at my corporate marketing job, I found myself constantly checking my Facebook feed {literally every 5 minutes} throughout the day.

I remember coming back to my keyboard after a meeting and watching my fingers reach for the F and A button without so much as a thought of what I wanted to do first on my computer. And, thanks to browsing history and password caching, my internet browser would take me to that familiar newsfeed in a flash. It freaked me out, but I felt like I couldn’t stop. And it often triggered feelings of comparison, frustration, and sadness.

Even in the last year, I’ve been noticing when I go to Facebook to numb out. On a road trip with Tim, I would find myself reaching for my phone and clicking on that familiar blue app button whenever there was a lull in conversation. Luckily, I have a man who holds me accountable to what I want and told me to put the dang phone down.

I am not the type of person to quit Facebook.

I get to interact with a lot of you guys on there, and am able to keep up with what’s going on with friends and family all across the world when they post photos of their weddings, babies, and major accomplishments. I love the connection it brings to my life. But what I don’t love is the way I allow Facebook to help me escape from my own amazing life.

Some steps I’ve taken to declare freedom from Facebook (without deleting my profile) are:

– Removing the Facebook app (and groups, pages, and messenger apps) from my phone so it isn’t as easy to log in.

– Signing out every time I leave Facebook so, if I happen to pull up the page, I’d have to manually sign in. This gives my brain enough time to catch up and say “No, thank you! I honor my desire to not numb out on Facebook at this moment” or “Yes, I intentionally would like to log on to Facebook right now because I have something I want to accomplish that requires me to log in.”

– Installing the kill newsfeed app on my Chrome browser, which prevents me from seeing the newsfeed when I log in and says “Don’t get distracted by facebook” which I love.

– I also have friends who have taken “Facebook Sabbaticals” – 1 month away from Facebook to reconnect to themselves and what’s true for them. 

50 things to do instead of Facebook

  1. Read a fiction book outside on a blanket under a tree
  2. Write a gratitude letter to an unsuspecting person
  3. Pour yourself a glass of water and add some fresh herbs or fruit to it
  4. Make a playlist of your favorite dance music (or use spotify’s mood playlists to inspire you)
  5. Take yourself on a walk around your neighborhood for just 15 mins, leaving your phone at home.
  6. Do the dishes and light a candle in your kitchen
  7. Make a cup of tea with your favorite tea cup
  8. Watch your pet sleep (seriously, it’s so heartwarming)
  9. Blast your favorite song and sing it aloud into a hairbrush or stapler (I’m loving this song lately)
  10. Bust out your calendar and plan 2 date nights (with your love or with your girls) in the next month
  11. Buy a small piece of really good quality dark chocolate and eat it very slowly, savoring every nuance of flavor and feeling
  12. Make some art for a wall or corner of your home
  13. Grab the top 3 books you’ve been intending to read and make a beautiful pile of them on your bedside table
  14. Buy a journal and write the first entry
  15. Email a colleague or coworker and tell them what a great job they did on that project last year
  16. Look through catalogs and lookbooks mailed to your house and cut out what inspires you.
  17. Spin a globe (or open an atlas), close your eyes and point your finger on a country, then make a 3 day itinerary of things you would do when you visit
  18. Take a walk outside and make a bouquet of wildflowers and greenery you find
  19. Give yourself a homemade facial
  20. Do 5 jumping jacks followed by a downward dog and finish by laying on your back with your legs up the wall and breathing deeply
  21. Pick 5 things in your space you want to donate
  22. Dust off your bicycle and go for a 20 minute ride
  23. Plan your meals for the following week
  24. Grab a glossy magazine and ready it lazily with a glass of wine or tea
  25. Make your bed (bonus points for changing the sheets and a spritz of homemade linen spray)
  26. Make some homemade cookies for your neighbors. Leave it at their door with a note that says “just because!”
  27. Book a massage or haircut appointment
  28. Set a timer for 15 mins, and make an Etsy favorites list
  29. Go to
  30. Change the background image on your computer by googling images, Pinterest, or searching national geographic
  31. Call your best friend or record and send her a voice message
  32. Go to the library and check out a book
  33. Try making a green smoothie
  34. Go see a movie by yourself
  35. Make a coconut water face mist
  36. Buy a book in a language you haven’t spoken in years and read it aloud to yourself. I love to read Le Petit Prince :)
  37. Look up a makeup tutorial video online and practice in the mirror
  38. Make a natural air freshener
  39. Clean your makeup brushes
  40. Grab some colored pens and draw a picture
  41. Write a love letter to yourself, stamp and address it, and give it to a friend to mail to you in a month
  42. Buy fresh flowers and arrange them in your workspace or bedroom
  43. Go to a museum or art gallery for the afternoon
  44. Buy yourself a new pair of underwear (bonus points for matching bra)
  45. Lie in the grass and watch the clouds
  46. Grab some sunglasses, sit by yourself on a bench and people watch
  47. Walk down the street and see how many compliments you can give out
  48. Make a beautiful salad with edible flowers on top
  49. Try a guided meditation
  50. Take a nap

I included garden wine in the cocktail portion of my most recent creative day retreat at my cozy cottage {along with dark chocolate covered strawberries, apples, and almond butter of course}, and was surprised by how delighted the women were with the idea. It’s a total sensory experience.

The concept is simple, but lovely – add herbs to wine.

Garden Wine

I grabbed herbs from my garden – sage, rosemary, lemon balm, purple basil, and lemon verbena. But you could also try lavender, roses, calendula, or thyme.

Add the herbs to the wine {I find that common garden herbs marry well with a crisp, white wine}, either in the wine bottle or in a separate bottle (like these beautiful swing-tops). Reseal the bottle and let it sit a few days before serving chilled.

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Cinnamon Rose Sugar Scrub

Winter’s cloak is upon us. Our blood is moving slower through our veins, and our bodies desire rest just as the bear curls up underground to hibernate in deep quietude.

And, despite the promise of the hustle of a new year, it is still winter.

Life in my new cottage is cold. Colder than I’ve experienced in any other home. Life beneath the wise redwood trees and in a very old house with poor insulation means thicker sweaters, hot tea, and more cinnamon. Yes, cinnamon.

As I talk about in my book, The Healing Kitchen, cinnamon was once an exotic spice that symbolized wealth and divine status. Now it is one of the most common spices you can find at the grocery store.

Originally sourced from Sri Lanka, cinnamon was once a well kept secret by Arab and Phoenician merchants. In the time of the Middle Ages, you were viewed a wealthy person if you could obtain an exotic spice from the East (even though it was really used to cover up the smell of cured meat, which often spoiled in the colder months).

A warming spice, cinnamon helps stimulate the digestive system and assists with metabolic syndrome (preventing blood sugar peaks). It also helps with cognition, and can be used in teas to improve focus. It is rich in manganese as well as the antioxidants phenol, salicylic acid and tannins.

To warm up your body from the inside out, you can make a simple tea {or Té de canela}. Boil some water and pour over 3-4 whole cinnamon sticks. Let steep for 5-10 mins and enjoy, perhaps with a dollop of coconut milk and honey.

Cinnamon Rose Sugar Scrub

I’ve whipped up this lovely, body warming scrub that will moisturize dry, chapped winter skin we often experience this time of year. Sugar is gentle and contains natural glycolic acid, an ingredient that dissolves dead skin cells and clarifies skin. Not so great for our digestion, but divine on the skin.

Sugar and oil makes the base, then I’ve added in cinnamon to get blood circulation moving and rose for both aroma (cinnamon and rose is a swoony combination) and skin soothing. I’ve been putting it on each night before my bath, and it’s been a beautiful way to come down from my day and cozy into my warm bed to do some hibernating myself.

Cinnamon Rose Sugar Body Scrub

Place sugar in a bowl and pour your base oil over. Take your pinch of rose petals and break them up in your hands before sprinkling them into the sugar-oil mixture. Then add in the rest of the ingredients and mix until well combined. Spoon into jars.

Makes approximately 4 2-oz jars. Shelf life is 6 months if kept tightly sealed.

To use: Just before showering, swirl ingredients together with your fingertips to mix. While showering, apply scrub in a firm circular motion with your hands. Rinse off and pat body dry with a clean towel.

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