One week ago, I walked away from my corporate career to pursue my dream of being an entrepreneur.
I have this distinct memory from my childhood when I was in an airport.
I would worship what I would call the clicky heel women. You know, those women who would stride purposefully down the hallways of the terminal with their rolling carry-on bag, cell phone in hand, and high heeled shoes clicking rhythmically against the ground as they’d rush to catch their plane to Europe or Japan.
I so wanted to be those women. I wanted the perfectly fitted black suit, the company-issued cell phone that would ring with important calls, and to be able to fly around the world. Whatever those women embodied, I wanted it.
Until recently, my life was one big checklist. I was on the right path and checking things off as I went.
Get good grades and participate in sports, music, journalism, and have a part-time job in high school? check.
Go to a good college on the east coast? check.
Study abroad? check.
Go to graduate school? check.
Get a job in a crappy economy? check.
Double my income in 3 years? check.
I’ve been following this prescribed list my whole life and, this year, I reached the end of the line. I crossed everything off the list. I had made it. But…something was still missing.
I was climbing the ladder and, when I reached the top, I realized it was leaning against the wrong wall.
Don’t get me wrong, I was good at my job. I loved the people I worked with and they loved me. But, there was something I loved even more, and that left this empty space of longing within me.
The truth is, my body was telling me my jobs weren’t a good fit the whole time. I was filling it with a lot of food, booze, and caffeine to suppress this knowing. I had trouble sleeping. Parts of my body started really hurting. I was anxious all the time. I would wake up in a panic and frantically check my cell phone for work emails that had come in throughout the night. I would get nauseous on the bus to and from the city. I would cancel social plans last minute because I was either super anxious or exhausted. And I would come home and dump all of this anxiety and negative energy on Tim.
So, while all this was going on, I had you.
The Dabblist started as a place to explore and keep my creative juices flowing while I hustled during the week so I could keep living for those glorious Sundays in my kitchen. Every Sunday was sacred. I would work in my kitchen all day long – crafting up little potions and treasures and tasty, healthy treats. And I was happy. Tim would notice me humming and come in the kitchen saying “you seem so much happier when you are in here creating.”
I felt more alive and full of joy getting my hands dirty in the kitchen then when I was making a perfectly rehearsed presentation to a CEO.
I was left with a choice. Either clean up all this destructive behavior in the environment I’d put myself in, or change my environment.
So this year, as I hit a six-figure salary and realized it didn’t make me any happier, I started to invest back in myself. I reached out to and connected with women all around the world, inspired by their stories of courage and freedom. I started reading books like The Firestarter Sessions, The Unthethered Soul, and The Law of Divine Compensation. And I realized the future is made up of the choices we make today. I was in this situation because I chose it, and I can choose something else.
Life as my own boss – Day 1
During that time, 60 women made the commitment to put everything else in life aside for 2 days and focus on our desires. We were entrepreneurs, stay at home moms, girlfriends, daughters, and corporate mavens. But really, we were all just women who quickly became sisters. No jealousy, no comparison, no judgment. Just love and support . We talked about everything from self-care, body image, relationships, productivity tools, ambition, and ease. And it was so powerful, because I could give myself permission to ask what I really desired for my life and what I needed to do to make that happen.
So, after that incredible weekend, I stepped into my power. The day I got back to my office, I put in my 2 weeks notice. And I’d never felt more alive in my entire life.
To paraphrase an analogy presented to me by my lovely new sister Amber, I’m a baby eagle in its nest high on the mountainside, and I have no choice but to jump out of the nest. I either fly or die, but I’m already flapping. I’m ready to do this.
I love creating.
I love helping you create.
I love learning.
I love teaching.
I love talking about the pursuit of health and happiness.
I love tapping into the ancient feminine wisdom within all of us, that inner guide that heals and connects us to others.
It was time for me to stop waiting to live my life.
Tim helping me map out my vision
So what does this mean for The Dabblist?
Such amazing things are coming your way. I finally can commit my time and energy to serving you, and I am bursting with ideas. Several projects are already in the works, including a special edition holiday package of homemade products and another website launching in January. The future is bright, my dear friends.
I also want to keep you updated with my entrepreneurship journey, as I have you to thank for this profound “aha moment”. I’m so grateful to you for being here, and I want you to be on this journey with me as we take it together. If you haven’t already, I encourage you to sign up for my free weekly newsletter. I find it’s a lot easier to be caught up with all things The Dabblist that way 🙂
What I’ve realized now is what I saw in those clicky heeled women wasn’t a desire to work for someone else’s vision, it was to fulfill my own. I’m rewriting my own rules.
And I cannot thank you enough.